Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Are We Playing it Too Safe?

I saw one of those eHarmony ads that seem to be everywhere these days, and it got me thinking. The ads give me the impression that if one uses their program that they will find the ideal mate simply because their screening process is so thorough. If one were to join the site they wouldn't have to worry about finding that special someone. They will be lining up to meet them, and it would be just a matter of time before you and your soul mate will be grinning and gushing on one of those ads.

It made me wonder. Are we playing it too safe? Are we so afraid of getting our hearts broken that we will spend hundreds of dollars (the site is expensive) to simply get introduced to someone via an elaborate, copyrighted program? I think that people spend so much energy looking for that perfect someone because they are too afraid to risk their hearts with a person that may seem less than ideal. People often don't realize that even with all that matching that there are still risks involved. They still have to open themselves up and run the risk of getting hurt.

Even sincere Christians can fall into that trap. They think that if they pray hard enough, and live a Christian life that the right person will simply fall into their laps. That one day they will hear a knock at the door, and the person who knocked will say, "Hi, how are you? I am the one God has chosen for you to spend the rest of your life with." True, prayer will help us make better decisions, but we still have to put our necks out there sometimes. We have to take a chance and open up to people that may not line up 100% with our criteria. Prayer doesn't eliminate pain. It simply helps us grow through our painful experiences.

I think that our fear of failure may be standing in the way of our personal growth. I look back at my relationships that didn't work out (or for that matter, never even got off the ground), and I know that I am a better person because of the lessons I learned from those failures.

I am not advocating that single people should just go out and get into relationships with people they know for certain that are wrong for them. I am writing this for those people that are in the "should I, or shouldn't I" stage. Go ahead, and take a risk. You might get hurt, but you could be a better person because of that experience. You could find the person you always wanted, and at least you won't have to go through life wondering, "What if . . ."