[SAHD] Parenting Lessons From Eden

Courtesy fanpop.com

Who better to learn parenting lessons from than humanity's Ultimate Parent?

As a new parent I have discovered that people often give you tips, books, etc. on how to be a better parent.  Naturally some advice is better than others, but the best guidance I have found comes from our Ultimate Parent, God Himself.  Here are some lessons I discovered from where it all began, the Garden of Eden.

Create the Best Possible Environment

This one falls in the "too obvious to be seen" category.  I didn't see it at first either, but it makes a lot of sense.  God wanted the best for His kids so he made them the best home possible.  Now many of us may not have a lot of options regarding where we live, but that doesn't mean we can't be creative in our current situation.  A great way to get creative is to get your kids involved in the process.  You may not get a lot of feasible ideas, but at least you're spending time with them.  While you're spending time with them, be sure to . . .

Maintain Their Innocence

This point may be a bit controversial for some.  So much is said how we should not shelter our children and how we should prepare them for the the "real world".  However, look at what God did with His kids.  God purposely told Adam and Eve to avoid the tree that would give them the knowledge of evil, which brings us to our next point.

Give Simple Rules to Follow

God gave three basic commands to His kids: Be fruitful and increase in number, Fill and subdue the earth, and especially Don't eat from this one tree.  A possible application of this principle is instead of getting our kids to follow a litany of rules, get them to follow one simple rule, Do what your parents tell you to do (I know, I know, easier said than done, but one dream, can't he?).  Ultimately God's kids didn't listen to Him, but there is a silver lining for us even in that situation.

Don't Treat Yourself Too Harshly

Hey, if even God's kids didn't listen to Him, if for some strange reason our kids don't listen to us, we shouldn't take that as an indictment against our parenting skills. Children ultimately make their own choices that are beyond their parents control.  However, there is one part where parents have a lot of control.

Don't Avoid Punishment

Now no good parent wants their children to suffer, but when God's kids disobeyed Him, He simply had no other choice. He could have simply excused them because He is God, and can do whatever He wants, but that didn't happen.  Without some punishment, from that point forward, nobody (esp. Satan) would have taken God seriously.  When for whatever reasons parents avoid punishment that only erodes their authority and emboldens their children to try something worse.  Notice also that the punishment was simply allowing them to experience the consequences of their actions.  Something to think about, and while you're thinking . . .

Think More About God
 
While you may not agree with all of my applications, I hope that I have gotten you to think more about what lessons we can learn from the Bible, and I also hope that you take more time to read it for yourself.

What lessons regarding parenting (or anything else for that matter) have you learned from the Bible?  Share your discoveries in the comments section below.

Building a Better Protest

Courtesy personal.kent.edu/~bsmith30/TheSixties/

Want your protest to turn into a movement that truly changes the world?  Start by looking at one that accomplished such a feat.

Many public protests have come and gone.  Some have had a temporary change on society while others have simply faded into obscurity.  Then there are those that have made such a widespread impact that we cannot picture a world in which they did not occur.  It is one such protest/movement that we will look at in this post, and we will also glean some tips on how to increase the impact of whatever one you decide to join or start. The movement I have in mind is none other than the Protestant Reformation, and here's how it made such a difference.


Empowered the Powerless

Back in the day, for much of the Christianized world, the Roman Catholic Church was the only show in town.  It had a religious monopoly that was established at the expense of the common person.  No doubt many people felt the weight of this oppression, but felt powerless to do anything about it.  The Reformation built on this frustration and gave those feeling powerless a voice. A frustration that had been in existence for some time before Martin Luther came on the scene.

Didn't Reinvent the Wheel

Many people most likely believe that the Protestant Reformation originated with Luther and the 95 Theses (which he posted 494 years and two days ago).  While events definitely progressed more rapidly as a result of Luther's words and actions, his objections to the Roman Catholic Church's abuse of power echoed those of  John Huss, who echoed John Wycliffe's views.  Both of whom lived almost 200 years before the German monk.  Luther's original course of action differed from many modern movements in that he didn't intend to discuss his views with the general public.

Started at the Top

Although Luther posted his famous theses in a public place, he wrote them in Latin, a language not widely spoken or understood outside of educational and religious institutions.  He wanted to debate with those in power, those who could facilitate lasting change, not with his fellow Germans, who could do relatively little.  When I state "fellow Germans" I mean that loosely because Luther was in actuality part of the system that he deemed to be corrupt.

Worked from the Inside Out

Luther understood, either cognitively or intuitively, that reforms are often best facilitated by those inside of the institution.  His radical views eventually led to his departure, but that shouldn't negate the fact that he originally intended to reform the system as an insider.  He saw himself as someone who could rebuild from the inside rather than demolish from the outside.  The promulgation of these suggested reforms was greatly enhanced by a new technology at the time; the printing press.

Used Technology to His Advantage

The advent of the printing press made it much easier to disperse Luther's and his allies' views.  The 95 Theses, being translated into German a few months after their posting, made their way into the hands and minds of the common people.  Their once unspoken concerns became spoken, and many were emboldened by the fact that someone was actually standing up to such a powerful organization.

Dynamic Leadership

The Reformation would have never gained any ground if Luther had caved under the immense pressure from the religious hierarchy.  The people needed a dynamic spokesperson, and they got one in Martin Luther.

A Perfect Storm

Centuries of frustration coupled with a dynamic leader and new technology changed an entire religion for the better.  Therefore if you want a better future for the world, or at least your part of it, take some tips from the past.  You'll never know what can be accomplished unless you try.

Featured Post: What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My WIfe

This featured post comes from Intentional Leadership, a blog written by Michael Hyatt, Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers.  His goal is to "help people live and lead on purpose".

What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My Wife

Gail and I have been married for thirty-three years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few days ago we had a fight. It was a doozy.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/mediaphotos

It’s not important what it was about. It was one of those issues we have stumbled over previously. But I will admit that it was my fault. I ambushed her and let it escalate beyond what the circumstances warranted.

Thankfully, it ended well. Primarily, because Gail was patient, refusing to react to my rant. This was enough to end what Emerson Eggerichs calls, “the crazy cycle.” (If you haven’t read his book, Love and Respect, you must do so. It’s the most practical book on marriage I’ve read.)

Weary—and feeling a little foolish—we asked one another’s forgiveness and restored the relationship.

As I was reflecting on that experience today, I thought to myself, How can we avoid slipping into this same conflict in the future. I wrote down five lessons I want to remember for the future.

1. Clarify our expectations up front. Most conflicts are born out of a misalignment of expectations. In this particular argument, I had a set of unexpressed expectations that Gail failed to meet. If we had discussed them before the day began, we would have likely avoided the problem altogether. But, she didn’t know, because I hadn’t bothered to articulate them.
2. Assume the best about each other. This is especially difficult in the heat of the moment. It is easy to impute motives. But, realistically, your spouse does not get up in the morning intending to make your life miserable. You have to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he or she is well-intentioned.
3. Affirm the priority of the relationship. The most important asset you have as a couple is the health of your relationship. You don’t want to win the battle but lose the war. Near the end of our argument, I finally came to my senses. I said, “Honestly, I don’t know who is right or who is wrong. What I know for sure is that I love you and that trumps everything.” She quickly agreed.
4. De-personalize the problem. When you square off against one another and make it personal, it gets ugly. If you are not careful, you end up cornering your spouse and leaving them no other option than to react or retaliate. Instead, you have to move to their side of the table, and work on the problem together.
5. Listen more than you talk. When you get angry, it is easy to rant—to give expression to your emotion. This is almost never a good idea. Instead, if you want to be understood, you must seek to understand. (Thank you, Dr. Covey.) This means trying to see the other person’s point-of-view. Ask a question, and then ask a follow-up question.

What does this have to do with leadership? Everything. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. And if you can’t learn to manage conflict with those closest to you, how can you manage it with those who have less of a stake in the outcome?

Question: What have you learned from conflict in your own marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Featured Post: Corporate Identity and God's Blessing

This featured post comes from Ted N. C. Wilson, president of the Seventh-day Adventist world church via the Adventist News Network.

Commentary: Corporate identity and God's blessing

Church membership and leadership must unite to receive latter rain

Luke tells us twice that the disciples were of one accord as they prepared for the outpouring of the early rain (Acts 1:14; 2:1). The fact that he would mention it twice suggests that unity within the church is a very important step in preparation for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. There is an aspect to unity presented throughout Scripture that is seldom recognized or addressed in our church -- the role of corporate identity.

First of all, look at an example of corporate identification and then at two aspects of this phenomenon, which are crucial in the preparation for the latter rain:

First, the example: God made it absolutely clear that the Israelites were not to take any spoils for themselves in Jericho's fall and that the silver, gold, and the bronze and iron vessels were consecrated to the Lord (Joshua 6:18, 19). But Achan stole 200 shekels of silver, a wedge of gold and a Babylonian garment (Joshua 7:21). God's anger burned against Israel, and in the next military engagement, Israel lost 36 men and suffered a shameful defeat. When Joshua cried out, "Why, Lord?" the answer was short and to the point: "Israel has sinned" (Joshua 7:11). The whole nation suffered and men lost their lives because one Israelite disobeyed -- corporate identity.

Now, two illustrations that impact directly upon our plea for the latter rain:

First, when the 12 spies returned to give their report about the promised land, Caleb and Joshua were positive and said, "Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it" (Number 13:30). However, the 10 spies said they could not take the land because there were giants in it and they felt like grasshoppers. The nation believed the 10 and turned against their leaders who were positive that God would fulfill His promise and give the land to them. God's response? Back into the wilderness for 40 years. Moses, Aaron, Caleb, Joshua, and those who supported them had to return to the wilderness because of those who refused to believe God's Word -- corporate identity.

The second illustration takes us to the time of Jesus. Now the roles are reversed. The common people of Israel were flocking to see and hear Jesus. They were bringing their sick to be healed. There was a growing belief among them that Jesus was the promised Messiah but not so among the leaders. They were jealous of Him and plotted His death. During His trial, Pilate asked, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests responded, "We have no king but Caesar" (John 19:15).

Concerning the priests' attitude, Ellen White says, "Thus by choosing a heathen ruler, the Jewish nation had withdrawn from the theocracy. They had rejected God as their king. Henceforth, they had no deliverer. They had no king but Caesar. To this the priests and teachers had led the people. For this, with the fearful results that followed, they were responsible. A nation's sin and a nation's ruin were due to the religious leaders" (DA, pp. 737-738) -- corporate identity.

In the first illustration the leaders suffered because of the rebellion of the people. In the second illustration the people suffered because of the rebellion of the leaders. God deals with us individually when it comes to our own salvation. But God deals with His people as a corporate group when it comes to carrying out His instructions for the advancement of His work.

What is the lesson to be learned?

God deals with His church today as a corporate body. If we are to receive the latter rain power of the Holy Spirit today, the body and the leadership must be on the same page. God has been ready for years to give His people the latter rain. He has been waiting for us to get ourselves together. If we would only press together in seeking the promised power, pray for each other and stand united, shoulder to shoulder, the power would be given, the work would be finished quickly and we would enter the kingdom soon. It will happen and the glory will be given to God alone.

The Divine Hitman

The Death of Jezebel
Courtesy Orientalism in Art

Truth may not always be stranger than fiction, but it can be as dramatic.

The horseman rode off to meet Jehu and said, “This is what the king says: ‘Do you come in peace?’”
   “What do you have to do with peace?” Jehu replied. “Fall in behind me.”
   The lookout reported, “The messenger has reached them, but he isn’t coming back.”  2 Kings 9:18

As I am reading through the Bible, I am constantly amazed at how many great stories exist in the Old Testament.  Those who neglect that portion of the Scriptures miss out on many stories involving colorful characters.  Jehu is one such character.  There are two Jehus in the Bible, the first one, Jehu son of Hanani, was a prophet, and while I'm sure that he had an interesting life, the one I'm talking about is Jehu the son of Nimshi, who was a military leader who became king of Israel.

Jehu son of Nimshi comes onto the scene during the time when Elijah was the main prophet in Israel.  Shortly after the Mount Carmel experience, God gives Elijah a "to do" list which involves anointing two kings and his prophetic successor.  Apparently, Elijah didn't complete the list before being taken to heaven, so we find Elisha being the one to set Jehu's reign in motion.

I'm not going to retell Jehu's entire story (which you can read in 2 Kings 9-10), but I will say that his story reads like some sort of action movie (hence the provocative title for this post).  After being anointed king by an anonymous young prophet described as a "maniac", Jehu, formerly a military commander, becomes the leader of what amounts to a death squad hunting down and eliminating all those connected with the now-deceased evil king Ahab and the worshipers of the false god Baal.

One of my favorite parts of this story shows that there was something special about Jehu (if I was making a movie, this clip would be in the trailer).  As he was approaching the hideout for number one on his hit list, Ahab's son Joram, Joram sends out a messenger to see if Jehu has come in peace, and as all good action-movie stars go, he has definitely not come in peace.  Jehu had such a way about him (I would compare him to Leonidas of Spartan fame), that with two short sentences (see text above), he convinces not one, but two of Joram's messengers to switch sides and fight against their former leader.

After eliminating Joram and Ahaziah, Jehu goes after the prophet-killer Jezebel, Ahab's widow.  What happens next says something about both Jehu and Jezebel.  When Jezebel heard that Jehu was on his way, she did her hair and put on makeup, and stood by a window waiting for him.  When he arrived she asked him if he came in peace (you know the answer to that question), and once again, with a few words, Jehu was able to convince some on the other side to do his bidding.

The remainder of the story involves more action as Jehu makes his way through his divine hit list (incidentally, nobody after this point asks if he came in peace), and God commends him of his services even though Jehu didn't get everything right.  While I am not advocating the glorification of bloodshed, I'm writing about Jehu's story for the purpose of getting people to pay more attention to the entire Bible.

So if you take the time and read some of the great stories of the Old Testament, you will find that the truth in the Bible can be as interesting as the fiction you'd find elsewhere.

Featured Post: Seven Better Questions You Can Ask in the Midst of Adversity

I'm starting another addition to this blog.  Every so often I will feature a post from someone else's blog that I'm currently following.  This post comes from Michael Hyatt, Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers.  You can find the original post here.

SEVEN BETTER QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK IN THE MIDST OF ADVERSITY

Ihave several friends who are going through enormous uncertainty right now. Some are out of work. A few others are on the precipice of divorce. Still others have been diagnosed with cancer—one who is pregnant. In these situations, most of us ask, “Why is this happening to me?”

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/Yuri_Arcurs

Years ago, two months after I became the publisher of one of our book divisions, we lost a major author to a competing company. This had a significant negative impact on our bottom line. At first, I was angry. Then I became discouraged. Finally, I realized I was asking the wrong question.

Instead of asking “Why did this happen?” I started asking, “How can this make us better?” Immediately, I sensed a shift in my spirit. It began energizing me. In retrospect, losing the author was one of the best things that could have happened to my division. We grew from the experience in ways that would have never happened otherwise.

I learned a valuable lesson: the answers we get are often determined by the questions we ask. If we ask bad questions, we will get bad answers. If we ask better questions—empowering questions—we will get better answers.

If you are going through a difficult, uncertain time, here are seven better questions you can ask yourself and your team:

1. What if this isn’t the end but a new beginning?
2. What if the answer to my prayer is just over the next hill?
3. What if this is necessary in order for me to be prepared for the next important chapter in my life?
4. What if God knows exactly what I need at this particular time?
5. What if God is speaking to me through means I would not have chosen for a blessing I cannot see?
6. What does this experience make possible?
7. What will I be telling my grandchildren that I learned was so valuable in this season of my life?

How is this related to leadership? As I have written numerous times before, leaders must lead themselves first—even when they don’t feel like it. Sometimes it just starts with a better question.

In Rome

God can make the best out of a bad situation.

In this chapter, we find Paul arriving at Rome. There were a few Christians in the area, and the met him upon his arrival to the Italian coast. The Christians requested that Paul stay with them a week, and  this request was granted by the centurion Julius. The soldiers had come to greatly respect Paul, and did everything in their power to accommodate him.

On the eighth day, the prisoners set out to Rome and when they were passing through Appii Forum, about forty miles from Rome. The procession was periodically halted when various believers recognized Paul from his presence at the various towns and cities in which he ministered. The soldiers were a little annoyed at these interruptions, but didn't have the heart to cut them short.

Upon arriving at Rome, Paul was surrendered the captain of the emperor's guard. The positive words of Julius as well as Festus' letter caused Paul to be treated very graciously. Instead of staying in a prison, he was allowed to stay at a house, and although still in chains, he was granted a great deal of freedom.

Paul received many visitors, especially those of the Jewish persuasion, and Paul took this opportunity to share with them the truth regarding his presence there before they could be poisoned by those Jews who hated him so much. The Roman Jews stated that they had not heard anything from these other Jews, and had no bias against him. So, sometime later Paul shared with them the gospel, and how the true knowledge of Christ had led him to be converted.

Paul had been in Rome a long time up to this point with no appearance by his accusers. The malicious designs of those Jews had been so thoroughly thwarted up to this point that they needed quite a bit of time to regroup.  God used this delay to the furtherance of the gospel. For the period of two years Paul was able to receive visitors and send out workers to various places to preach the gospel. E. G. White had this to write about this situation.

Thus, while apparently cut off from active labor, Paul exerted a wider and more lasting influence than if he had been free to travel among the churches as in former years. As a prisoner of the Lord, he had a firmer hold upon the affections of his brethren; and his words, written by one under bonds for the sake of Christ, commanded greater attention and respect than they did when he was personally with them. Not until Paul was removed from them, did the believers realize how heavy were the burdens he had borne in their behalf. Heretofore they had largely excused themselves from responsibility and burden bearing because they lacked his wisdom, tact, and indomitable energy; but now, left in their inexperience to learn the lessons they had shunned, they prized his warnings, counsels, and instructions as they had not prized his personal work. And as they learned of his courage and faith during his long imprisonment they were stimulated to greater fidelity and zeal in the cause of Christ. pg 454

The chapter continues by going into the background of Paul's letter to Philemon, but  I want to stay on this point of how the work was benefited by all the negative circumstances surrounding Paul's Roman experience. We often go through life wondering how anything good can come from the negative circumstances that surround our experience, but we should take this story and let it serve as a reminder that no matter what problems life deals us, God can make the best out of a bad situation.

A Consecrated Ministry

We are responsible for the spiritual welfare of others.

This chapter deals with many different aspects of how a gospel minister should act and what they should do. I will not focus on every aspect, so as to not rewrite the chapter. However, it would be a great idea for you to read as you will get more out of it than what I can write here.

The aspect I will focus on today is the one regarding spiritual guardianship. To illustrate this point, E.G. White compared spiritual leaders to watchmen on the wall. She puts it this way.

"The words of the prophet declare the solemn responsibility of those who are appointed as guardians of the church of God, stewards of the mysteries of God. They are to stand as watchmen on the walls of Zion, to sound the note of alarm at the approach of the enemy. Souls are in danger of falling under temptation, and they will perish unless God's ministers are faithful to their trust. If for any reason their spiritual senses become so benumbed that they are unable to discern danger, and through their failure to give warning the people perish, God will require at their hands the blood of those who are lost." pg 361

 Aside from the point that we are be in constant prayer for those in leadership position, we are still responsible for the spiritual welfare of others. To use the watchmen illustration, if a citizen of the city were to see impending danger would it not be their responsibility to tell others about it? They would not say, "Oh, that's the watchmen's job. I'll let them take care of it." If we see something that we believe to be wrong, we should let other people know about it.

At the same time, we need to be careful as to exactly how we let others know about impending danger. To do it in an unconsecrated manner would simply be aiding the enemy. Instead of drawing people to Christ, we would be driving them away from Him into enemy territory. This practice is a cause of many problems in God's church. People worry so much about warning that they neglect consecration. So our goal should be greater consecration, greater spiritual growth, greater character development. Then the discernment and warning will take care of themselves.

So let us remember that we are responsible for the spiritual welfare of others, but we are useless if we neglect our own.

Thinking of Others

Psalm 59:9-13 But do not kill them, O Lord our shield, or my people will forget. In your might make them wander about, and bring them down.  For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips,  let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in wrath, consume them till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob.

Even in the midst of life-threatening situations, David was thinking about the welfare of those around him.

Here we find once again that David was in trouble (you can read the story here).  It's an interesting story, but the Psalms aren't so much about the events, but about David's reaction to those events.  I focused in on these verses because they differ a bit from the usual wording that I have found.  In the midst of the cries for deliverance and the giving of praise, there is the concern for his fellow countrymen.  The first thing I thought of was the concept of how God let sinners live so that people can see the sinfulness of sin, but as I mentioned in a previous post, I need to make application for myself as well.


The application I found is that a sign of true leadership is the concern for other people, the people you are leading, or in David's case, the ones you will lead.  He wanted the lives of his enemies to be spared so that his people, and ultimately all people, will know "that God rules over Jacob."  If we are to be true leaders (and we all can be leaders in one sense or another), we need to show genuine concern for other people, even in the midst of our own trials.  Here we see manifested in a small way the same compassion shown by Jesus on the cross, where the thoughts were to bless His persecutors, His mother (had to put something in about mothers on Mother's Day), and the thieves hanging beside Him.  We cannot, I cannot, be effective leaders without that compassion.


Thank you Lord for showing me once again to think of others instead of myself.

Educational . . . Advertising?

I have awakened from my blogging slumber (my last post was months ago) because I picked up something educational, while watching the Super Bowl of all things.  Well, I didn't learn anything from the game itself, but I did learn something from the advertisements, especially one in particular.

The ad I found interesting, that seemed to put an exclamation point on a general theme, was the one for the Dodge Charger entitled "Man's Last Stand" (look it up if you haven't seen it yet).  I did a simple web search for the ad and found out that a lot of other people have opinions about it, and many are not positive.  Most of the negativity came from women, but one man strongly implied that it was the most offensive ad overall.

Why all the negativity?  Was it because it talked about men who do what they are told, are tired of it, and because of what they go through, they should be able to drive a cool car, or was it because it spoke to something deeper.  I personally liked the ad, not simply because I like cool cars but also because it spoke in a non-cartoonish way to an undercurrent of discontent among men that I had been aware of for sometime.  A discontent largely fueled by, dare I say it, the emasculation of masculinity.  Christian author John Eldredge had this to say on this subject in his book "Wild at Heart".

"Society at large can't make up it's mind about men.  Having spent the last thirty years redefining masculinity into something more sensitive, safe, manageable and, well, feminine, it now berates men for not being men. . . .  'Where are all the real men?" is regular fare for talk shows and new books.  You asked them to be women, I want to say.  The result is a gender confusion never experienced at such a wide level in the history of the world.  How can a man know he is one when his highest aim is minding his manners?"

He continues by saying that this mindset is also seen in the church, a church that tells men that they don't keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children.  However, if they try really hard, they can be a nice guy, as if this was the ultimate goal.  Then, to support this assertion, he asks the reader to look around at most churches in America, and they will find out that the men there are bored. They don't want to be dutiful, nice guys who as the Charger ad states, "say yes, when you want me to say yes, and be quiet when you don't want me to say no".  They want to be something more, but aren't really sure how to achieve that goal.

At the risk of oversimplifying things, the problem lies in the concept that you have to be one extreme or the other.  You have to be either a sensitive guy who is more like a girlfriend, or some testosterone-fueled maniac.  The key is that a man (esp. a Christian one) can be somewhere in the middle.  Jesus was both sensitive enough that children would actually want to be with Him, but strong enough to stand up for those who are downtrodden, (and flip over a few tables in the process).  For those who say, "Yeah, but Jesus was also God." look no further than David, the man after God's own heart.  One who was sensitive enough to take care of sheep, (and write some really melancholy psalms), but also when it came to standing for his God and his country wasn't hesitant to hack off a man's (Goliath's) head with a giant sword in order to make sure that he was dead.

In a nation where men identify more with Homer Simpson than William Wallace, Chrysler cries out, "Be a man. Drive the car you really want to drive!" But God cries out, "Be a man. Follow after My own heart!"

The road to true manhood may be simple, but no one said the journey to get there would be easy.