Trevor Noah, Racism, and Judas Iscariot

One thing that Trevor Noah said we should do with our oppressors is something that Jesus actually did with Judas Iscariot

In a recent op-ed for the New York Times, South African comedian and TV show host Trevor Noah wrote about his view of racism in the US, and not everyone was pleased with it. A recent BuzzFeed article stated that his recent comments "suggest a profound misunderstanding of the way racism works in America."

One argument was that it is wrong to think that people should “break bread” with those who have oppressed them. As a Christian I must ask not only what would Jesus do, but also what Jesus actually did in similar situations. We must remember that Judas’ betrayal came at no surprise to Jesus. Despite this knowledge, Jesus still continued to spend time with him (literally breaking bread with him), and even during the very act of betrayal called him “friend”. How do we apply this example to our own lives? The answer is simple, but not easy.

What we need to do is spend time with those who hold views that differ from ours. Doing this does not give credence to their views, but rather gives evidence of their value as a person (which is often the root cause of discrimination). As professed followers of Christ we should, well, follow His example in how He treated others, especially those who meant to do Him harm. He treated them with respect with the goal of eventually bringing them into a saving relationship with Him.

At the same time we must be realistic that this process will often be arduous and heart-breaking. This should not cause us to waver in our resolve to win others for Christ. Look what Jesus went through for us, shouldn't we at least give others the same chances He gives us?

Just A Game?

Courtesy blog.apimages.com

Why people, especially Christians, should rethink how they view sports.

They stood in stunned silence, some openly wept, while others cried silently. An elderly man comforted a small girl. Many who saw the event on television left the room in tears, unable to bear the sight. What had these people seen? A terrorist attack? A mass shooting? The assassination of a beloved dignitary? Sadly, none of the above. They witnessed the Brazilian football (soccer) team lose badly in the quarterfinals of the World Cup.

There was one picture of a woman that pushed me over the edge. Seen out of context one would have thought that she had received the news that her child had been brutally murdered. I thought that something is out of control here, something must be done. Therefore I decided to write this post because as the saying goes, better to light a candle than simply curse the darkness. The following are a few reasons why I think that people, especially Christians, should rethink how they view sports in general.

Loss of Perspective

I put this one at the top of the list because it provides a foundation for all the other issues. Sports easily becomes the highest priority in people's lives. So that if our favorite team or individual wins or loses, we win or lose. Everything else becomes less important then the game or match. Vince Lombardi, a famous coach of American football is quoted as saying, "Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing." Such an attitude goes completely against one of the primary tenets of Christianity (as well as Judaism) which is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." God should be the primary focus in a person's life, anything that tries to take one's focus off of God should be avoided.

Waste of Time/Money


It's no secret that there is a lot of money in sports. CNBC reported that Brazil spent over 11 billion dollars (US) on its preparation for the latest World Cup. Sadly, such spending is not too far from normal. Alongside the massive spending of major organizations comes the individual spending of those who watch the games and/or buy sport-related merchandise. In a world with so much need on so many levels, can we honestly say that God is happy when we spend money on things that merely entertain ourselves?

Some may say that they don't spend any on sports. They don't buy merchandise, go to games, or even host game-watching parties, they simply watch the games for free. However, in so doing, they spend a much more valuable resource, time. Money spent can be earned back, but time spent is lost forever. Again, how can God be happy when we spend time on things that merely entertain ourselves?

Us versus Them

Finally, sports creates an "us vs. them" mindset with our favorite team being against your favorite team, and ultimately me against you. I've written on this mindset before (here and here), so I won't go into much detail other than to say that I have experienced this first hand both in person and via social media. What makes this worse is that all the people involved in the confrontations, taunting, and general unChristlike behavior I witnessed claimed to be followers of Christ. People already talk too much about the hypocrisy of Christians, do we really need to add fuel to the fire?

Think About It

I hope this post has gotten you thinking. What we see and do ultimately affects who we are. Do we really need to spend so much time, energy, etc. on sports? I'll let you come to your own conclusion on the matter. I hope that you come to the right one and start living a life less influenced by the sporting world.

Making Changes

Courtesy allthingsworkplace.com

Once you start the process of change, you may end up changing more than you originally intended.

Yesterday I read post on the Fast Company website entitled "The Proven Length of Every Tweet, Facebook Post, and Headline Online" took some of the information I found there and decided to make some changes to this blog.  I fully intended to only make a few changes, but one thing led to another and I ended up making a lot of changes. Here are some that might interest you.

• A "Translate" feature located on the right above the book list that will translate the blog into whatever language you want. (Now I know that it probably won't be a perfect translation, but it should help.)
• The "News Updates" feature should be easier to read (These news articles are automatically generated by Google based on the preselected phrases that you see there.)
• The "My Favorite Blogs" section is easier to read, and has more blogs listed there.
• A "Reactions" feature at the end of each post in which you can enter your reactions to that post. (If you would like some reactions added to that list, let me know.)

Are there any more changes you would like to see in this blog? Share your views in the comments section. 

Edit: The items in the right column have been rearranged.

[Video] How to Wake up Feeling Great

Sleep is important.  Here is a short video that will help you wake up feeling refreshed.



Have you heard of this method before? Do you have any other helpful hints regarding sleep? Be sure to leave a comment in the comment section.

[Featured Post] Marriage is Not a Convenience Store

This featured post comes from Dr. Kelly Flanagan's blog Untangled.  Enjoy.

What do an all-inclusive resort, a mobile device, a phone company, and marriage all have in common? We have come to expect the same thing from all of them: one-stop, all-in-one convenience. 

Photo Credit: TheFutureIsUnwritten via Compfight cc

Last August, my wife and I attended a conference in Honolulu. The hotel had three restaurants, two bars, six gift shops, a convenience store, a business center, two pools, and beach access. You could fly to Hawaii and have a perfect vacation, without ever leaving your hotel.

All-inclusive convenience.

As consumers, we have come to expect this.

An iPhone is a one-stop shop in our pockets: phone, email, text, iPod, maps, news, personal calendar, family calendar, eBook reader(s), weather forecasts, Netflix and YouTube, and the list goes on and on.

All-in-one convenience.

As consumers, we have been trained to feel entitled to this.

In Chicago, AT&T bundles home phone, mobile phone, internet, and cable service. They recently added home security. I wonder when they’ll add babysitting to the bundle. I bet they’re beta testing it right now.

As consumers, we’ve been sold a lucrative lie called convenience, and it has infiltrated every aspect of our lives.

Including marriage.

Why Marriage is Ripping

In the last several decades, we have come to expect our marriages to serve an endless list of functions for us. We want our marriages to be the place we find romance and friendship and community and entertainment and security and self-esteem and direction and purpose and meaning.

Marriage has become life’s ultimate convenience store—an existential one-stop shop expected to meet all of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.

I think the biggest threat to marriage is this idealized, consumer-oriented, convenience store mentality we now bring to our wedding day.

Because when we act like we’re marrying a Walgreen’s instead of a person, marriage becomes an end unto itself. It becomes our one focus, our one purpose, and our one source of satisfaction. Our lives shrink as the expectations of our partner expand.

Many of us have put all our existential eggs in the marriage basket. And the basket is ripping beneath the strain of it. So then we compound the problem by spending all of our time trying to stitch the marriage back together, hoping it will hold all of our hopes and expectations again.

Maybe, instead, we need to spend some of our time finding other baskets.

Marriage is Not an All-Inclusive Hotel

I suppose it sounds like I’m recommending infidelity or lukewarm love or questionable commitment, but I’m not. I’m suggesting we will become more loving and more committed when we quit making marriage the only place we find purpose and meaning. 

Last August, we were with friends in Honolulu, and one of them got angry about the all-inclusive hotel and its plethora of services. He said it was the hotel’s way of tricking people into spending all their time and money there, discouraging guests from going out into the city and seeing the beautiful island.

He insisted on spending most of his time outside of the hotel, discovering new things. Then, after a day of exploring, he would return to the hotel to rest and recover.

I think that’s how marriage is supposed to work. It’s not supposed to be the one place we experience satisfaction in life. It’s supposed to be the place we return to—the safe place to recover—after we have ventured out into the world, to explore, to discover, to live. 

Marriage is the Hub of a Rebellion

What if we can’t find enduring purpose and meaning in marriage alone, because it’s simply not there to be found? What if purpose and meaning are found as we venture out into the world,

discovering we are strong enough to endure and good enough no matter what,

discovering a community or a cause that echoes the cry of our heart,

discovering how our gifts fit the needs of a broken world,

discovering how to love the unloveable (including ourselves),

discovering the grace that contains it all,

and discovering the courage to live all of it one day at a time.

Marriage is not an existential convenience store or an all-inclusive bundle of emotional services. Marriage is not the place we fight for good things—it’s the place we return to after we fight for good things, in ourselves and out in the world. It’s the place we return to:

to celebrate our victories,

to mourn our losses,

to lick our wounds,

to regain our strength,

and to be sent back out into the world again.

When lived in this way, our marriages become a celebration—a place of rejoicing and encouragement and support—and the hub of a rebellion against a world riddled with shame, meaninglessness, loneliness, despair and darkness. 

Two people living with that kind of purpose become a light no darkness can withstand. 

Last night, in the midst of a “family cleaning night,” I heard my daughter in her room, cleaning up and making up a silly song of her own: “By myself this is too hard, but together, we can do it. Together, we can do anything.”

Yes.

Marriage isn’t everything. But from within it, we can do anything.

What do you think about this view of marriage?  Leave your comments in the comment section.

The Worries of This Life

Courtesy of cupofjoe.tv

The worries of this life don't have to be obstacles to spiritual growth.

"The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful."  Matthew 13:22

In the well-known (at least among Christians) parable of the sower. Jesus stated a number of different types of ground that the seed fell upon and what happened to the seed as a result of falling on that ground. The portion of the parable regarding the seed falling on the thorny ground came to my mind recently, and I remembered a valuable lesson as a result.

Recently I have found myself in a situation that you may find familiar. Inspiration comes, and a mode of perceived spiritual growth begins, only to be interrupted by complaining children, bills to be paid, messes to clean up, etc. These mundane, everyday tasks were inhibiting my spiritual growth, or were they?

The realization came that the worries of this life don't have to choke one's spiritual life. In fact, these interruptions can be a means of enhancing spirituality if one simply approaches them not as interruptions, but as opportunities to improve your spiritual life (in my case by attending to them without griping and complaining). The worries of this life weren't the problem, I was because I approached them from the wrong perspective.

So keep this in mind as you go about your day, and feel free to leave a comment in the comment section.

A Matter of Life and Death

Courtesy aviancaflight52.com

Sometimes saying the right thing can make a difference between life and death.

On January 25, 1980 Avianca Flight 52 crashed into Cove Neck, Long Island because it ran out of fuel after a series of delays related to the weather.  One of the main reasons the flight ran out of fuel was that in its communication with the air traffic controllers the Avianca crew used the word "priority" instead of  "emergency".  The air traffic controllers had no idea as to the seriousness of the situation, and the airliner crashed into the countryside killing 73 of the 158 people on board.

Words Matter

This situation came to mind when I was thinking about how the words we use not only can make concept easier or more difficult to understand, but also can affect the way we live our lives.  I'm referring mainly to words that have similar, but not exactly the same, meanings.  Regarding the explanation of concepts, the word difficult is better than hard because hard has a broad set of definitions while difficult has a more narrow set.  In regards to how a word can affect the way in which we live our lives if we view problems as challenges then it frames the situation in a more positive light.

Spinning Until We're Sick

When typing that last sentence I couldn't help but think about what are commonly referred to as "spin doctors".  A spin doctor's job involves putting things into a more positive light than they truly are to help maintain the public image of a person or corporation.  I'm not talking about becoming like that where like a little child on a playground merry-go-round we want to spin faster and faster until we can't see straight and ultimately fall flat on our face (or worse yet, vomit, then fall).  I would classify such language as a euphemism where we make things sound nicer than reality.  What I am encouraging people to do is instead of making things seem better than they are, simply don't make them worse.

Making Canyons out of Culverts

Let's face facts, life on this earth can be quite discouraging.  To simply gloss over reality is not only annoying to most people, but also can be dangerous to our well-being because if everything is sunshine and rainbows then we won't seek help for the various situations in which we find ourselves.  In addition, "seeing the bright side of things" can be too much to ask of many people.  So as a first step, let's simply not to make things seem worse than they need to be.  However, as you probably expect, there is much more to it than that.

Speaking Faith

The 19th century Christian author E.G. White once wrote the following words.

"Take the word of Christ as your assurance. Has He not invited you to come unto Him? Never allow yourself to talk in a hopeless, discouraged way. If you do you will lose much. By looking at appearances and complaining when difficulties and pressure come, you give evidence of a sickly, enfeebled faith. Talk and act as if your faith was invincible. The Lord is rich in resources; He owns the world. Look heavenward in faith. Look to Him who has light and power and efficiency."  Christ's Object Lessons pg. 146

 "By the exercise of living faith you can separate from everything that is not in accordance with the mind of God, and thus bring heaven into your life here below. Doing this, you will have sunshine at every step. When the enemy seeks to enshroud the soul with darkness, sing faith and talk faith, and you will find that you have sung and talked yourself into the light"  Counsels to Parents, Teachers and Students pg. 233

That second quotation hit me especially hard (in a good way).  If we sing and talk faith, we can sing and talk ourselves out of the darkness and into the light, or from death unto life.  So let's make our words agents of life for ourselves and for all who will listen to us.

[Featured Post] Marriage and Scooby-Doo (and the Freedom of Mystery)

This featured post comes from the blog Untangled: A Psychologist's Reflections on Therapy and Life

Marriage and Scooby-Doo (and the Freedom of Mystery)

 
They’ve messed up Scooby-Doo. 

When I was young, you could always count on “the gang” to solve the mystery. The monster always turned out to be some rich-white-male capitalist trying to rip off somebody. I liked Scooby-Doo, because there was a mystery, followed quickly by solutions. In the newer episodes for a new generation, the monsters turn out to be…monsters. The mystery never really gets solved. The point of the show is to experience the mystery, rather than to solve it. 

But my kids love it. They prefer mystery to solutions.

Maybe I need to learn how to love mystery again. Maybe we all do. Our marriages and our world may even depend upon it…

I’m not alone in my quest for solutions.

Just last night, I sat in my living with a group of friends—our children playing outdoors in the June twilight, echoes of laughter drifting on the breeze through open windows—and we talked about the ways we try solve even the most uncertain and mysterious of human experiences. Does a particular feeling mean we made the best job decision? Does our children’s happiness confirm we moved into the right neighborhood? Does a sense of accomplishment mean I have used my time wisely?

Uncertainty everywhere. Mystery everywhere. And all of us on the endless hunt for solutions, for answers to the timeless, unanswerable questions.

While our kids played.

Why do we yearn to solve the mystery? I think we search for solutions because they bring the illusion of certainty, and certainty brings a sense of safety. And we will go to incredible lengths to feel safe. In fact, we have been encouraged to do so from the womb.

Before we were born, most of our parents were purchasing the safest, most disaster-proof crib on the market. They were installing plugs in the light sockets and putting mouth-sized things in cupboards out of reach.

And once we could speak, they plied us with questions, searching for answers. Our parents wanted us to explain our every emotion, and they wanted to know what possessed us to do this or that. Our teachers were always looking for a specific answer, because standardized tests don’t measure mystery.

And the world knows we will pay an awful lot to purchase a feeling of safety. From the moment we earned our first paycheck, businesses were selling us the solutions they create. So, we have become convinced that iPhones are the answer to our disconnectedness, or that a particular neighborhood is the answer to our children’s education and future. Or we settle on a particular theology or a particular church, so we won’t have to wonder anymore. Or we eat kale and expensive vitamins and we think we have found the answer for perfect health.

We seek solutions because they make us feel safe. For a while.

But, inevitably, something happens:

An accident.

Or a diagnosis.

Or an affair.

Or maybe nothing happens, and we simply notice the gnawing sense of unease has returned—the questions are back, and we resume our desperate scramble for answers.

You see, as it turns out, solutions do not bring the peace and freedom for which we are so desperately searching.

Last week, I was in the kitchen finishing the dinner dishes, when my eight-year-old son, Aidan, walked in to the room. He was wearing a flannel bathrobe, with eyeglasses slightly askew, and he was holding a book about the 9/11 terrorist attacks. (Parenting fail?)

A little gray hair and a pipe, and he might have been an elderly man enjoying his retirement.

Of course, what came out of his mouth only added to the effect. He said, “Daddy, the thing I love about God is that the more you think about him, the more questions you have. And I love questions and mysteries.”

Out of the mouths of babes.

His words ruptured me—they were truth and art and revelation, and they took my breath away. But even more than the words themselves, I was struck by the sense of peace and freedom with which they were uttered.

Because having solutions does not bring peace and freedom.


Peace and freedom come when we relinquish solutions and revel in the mystery.

When we stand on the threshold of mystery, we will be afraid at first, because it feels chaotic and dangerous. But if we can stay there, if we can dip our toe into the waters of mystery, we may be transformed. 

We may become like children again.

My two-year-old daughter, Caitlin, has just entered the “why stage.” She asks the question, “Why?” with impunity. And in the end, with dimples popping and a glimmer in her eye, she always answers herself in this way: “Because that’s the way it is supposed to be.”

That answer is enough for her. 
 
She’s not asking the question in order to find the answer—she’s asking because her eyes are opening up to a vast, glorious world, and her questions are an expression of wonder in the mystery of it all. Her questions don’t require answers. They only require asking. 

How might we enter into this kind of mystery and revel in it? I think we can begin by dipping our toes into the on-going, unsolvable mystery of the people to whom we’ve committed our lives. I think our marriages could be a training ground for a people learning to revel in the mystery. Because the truth is, we are all walking mysteries, even to ourselves. If we can never fully know our own depths, how can we expect to fully comprehend the depths of another? Our husbands and wives are bottomless mysteries that defy solving, and we are left no choice but to live in their mystery.

What would happen if we became like children again, reveling in the mystery of the people we are married to, rediscovering the joy of asking questions—not in order to nail down answers, but simply as a way to honor the glory in the people next to us and to acknowledge the wonder in the world around us?

I think we might be transformed into a childlike people, trading the safe harbor of feeble, temporary answers for the vulnerability and wonder of endless questions. I think we might live our relationships and our lives soaked in the freedom and peace of a child discovering. We might stare long at a spider web and wonder at its complexity. We might look at a night sky and marvel at the vastness. We might look into the rebellious eyes of our child and melt at the mysterious universe behind them. We might trade in the violence of certainty for the awe-inspiring peace of the mystery, and in doing so we may unleash freedom in our marriages, and in our families, and in our friendships, and in a world captivated by the need for certainty.

So, tonight, fall asleep next to your spouse. But in the morning, allow yourself to awake to a stranger. Awake to the mystery of another wondrous creature, and become like kids again, forsaking the safety of certain-answers and reveling in the multiplication of questions.

Tomorrow, unleash some mystery into the world, and live in the peace and freedom of it.

[Book Review] Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Courtesy bn.com

Every so often I read a book that really gets me thinking.  Man's Search for Meaning is one of those books.

For my birthday I received a gift card for a book store (yes, they still exist) and as I was perusing their website I discovered Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.  The paperback version was quite affordable, so I ordered it along with some other books so that I would not have money left over on my card.  My wife, daughter and I recently went on a trip that involved a lot of flying, so I brought it along with some other books so that I could make good use of my time.  I ended up completing the entire book on that trip and highly recommend it.

Frankl, a Jewish psychiatrist who survived the concentration camps of WWII, describes in the first part of the book what goes through the head of those who found themselves on the wrong side of Hitler's final solution.  His personal involvement and active mind gives the reader a unique perspective of what happened on the inside.  He didn't seek to shock people with stories of brutality and violence, but rather showed how that one can maintain their humanity in such a dehumanizing situation.

The second part of the book dealt with his method of psychotherapy called logotherapy.  Merriam-Webster defines logotherapy in this way.

"a highly directive existential psychotherapy that emphasizes the importance of meaning in the patient's life especially as gained through spiritual values"

In contrast to the Freudian method which places most of the emphasis on what has happened in the past affects your present choices, Frankl focuses primarily on how one's present choices affect what happens in the future.  When reading this part I would recommend taking frequent breaks, or at least not reading it when you are tired (like I did) because some aspects of his therapy take some effort to process.

I would recommend this to anyone, especially to history buffs who want more than simply names and dates, and to those dealing with difficult situations.

Finding Your True Voice

Courtesy wikimedis.org

Sometime we get so used to doing things one way that we fail to realize that it is the wrong way.

Not too long ago I was reading out loud too my wife when my infant daughter decided to make her contribution.  I had two choices: stop talking and wait, or talk louder.  I chose the latter, and in the process discovered something interesting.  For an unknown amount of time, I had been talking incorrectly.

Since I am not versed in the scientific terminology, I will do my best to describe what happened in laymen's terms. As many of you probably have noticed, when a person get stressed, their voice tends to get somewhat higher in pitch (that is a bass can sound like a tenor and so forth). By attempting to talk louder I relaxed the muscles in my throat and my true, and noticeably (at least to me) deeper voice came out.  This got me thinking, What other hidden habits do I need to change?

Have you suddenly noticed a bad habit that you were previously unaware of?  If so, please share in the comments section below.

[SAHD] Parenting Lessons From Eden

Courtesy fanpop.com

Who better to learn parenting lessons from than humanity's Ultimate Parent?

As a new parent I have discovered that people often give you tips, books, etc. on how to be a better parent.  Naturally some advice is better than others, but the best guidance I have found comes from our Ultimate Parent, God Himself.  Here are some lessons I discovered from where it all began, the Garden of Eden.

Create the Best Possible Environment

This one falls in the "too obvious to be seen" category.  I didn't see it at first either, but it makes a lot of sense.  God wanted the best for His kids so he made them the best home possible.  Now many of us may not have a lot of options regarding where we live, but that doesn't mean we can't be creative in our current situation.  A great way to get creative is to get your kids involved in the process.  You may not get a lot of feasible ideas, but at least you're spending time with them.  While you're spending time with them, be sure to . . .

Maintain Their Innocence

This point may be a bit controversial for some.  So much is said how we should not shelter our children and how we should prepare them for the the "real world".  However, look at what God did with His kids.  God purposely told Adam and Eve to avoid the tree that would give them the knowledge of evil, which brings us to our next point.

Give Simple Rules to Follow

God gave three basic commands to His kids: Be fruitful and increase in number, Fill and subdue the earth, and especially Don't eat from this one tree.  A possible application of this principle is instead of getting our kids to follow a litany of rules, get them to follow one simple rule, Do what your parents tell you to do (I know, I know, easier said than done, but one dream, can't he?).  Ultimately God's kids didn't listen to Him, but there is a silver lining for us even in that situation.

Don't Treat Yourself Too Harshly

Hey, if even God's kids didn't listen to Him, if for some strange reason our kids don't listen to us, we shouldn't take that as an indictment against our parenting skills. Children ultimately make their own choices that are beyond their parents control.  However, there is one part where parents have a lot of control.

Don't Avoid Punishment

Now no good parent wants their children to suffer, but when God's kids disobeyed Him, He simply had no other choice. He could have simply excused them because He is God, and can do whatever He wants, but that didn't happen.  Without some punishment, from that point forward, nobody (esp. Satan) would have taken God seriously.  When for whatever reasons parents avoid punishment that only erodes their authority and emboldens their children to try something worse.  Notice also that the punishment was simply allowing them to experience the consequences of their actions.  Something to think about, and while you're thinking . . .

Think More About God
 
While you may not agree with all of my applications, I hope that I have gotten you to think more about what lessons we can learn from the Bible, and I also hope that you take more time to read it for yourself.

What lessons regarding parenting (or anything else for that matter) have you learned from the Bible?  Share your discoveries in the comments section below.

[SAHD] Diaper-Changing Song

For some reason I often have this song in my head when I'm changing a diaper.  I guess I saw too many reruns of the Bunch while I was growing up.



There's actually a lot of truth in the lyrics, which go as follows.

Autumn turns to winter,
And winter turns to spring.
It doesn't go just for seasons you know,
It goes for everything.

The same is true for voices,
When boys begin to grow.
You gotta take a lesson from Mother Nature,
And if you do you'll know.

[chorus]
When it's time to change, then its time to change
Don't fight the tide, come along for the ride, don't you see
When it's time to change, you've got to rearrange
who you are into what you're gonna be.

Day by day, it's hard to see the changes you've been through
A little bit of living, a little bit of growing all adds up to you
Every boy's a man inside, a girl's a woman too
And if you wanna reach your destiny, here's what you've got to do

[chorus]

Autumn turns to winter,
And winter turns to spring.
It doesn't go just for seasons you know,
It goes for everything.

The same is true for voices,
When boys begin to grow.
You gotta take a lesson from Mother Nature,
And if you do you'll know.

Hope you enjoyed your trip down memory lane, and have groovy day.

[SAHD] What I Learned From My Baby

Courtesy science-essentials.org

The title gives you a clue as to why I haven't posted in a while.

Not long ago in a place not far from where I live, my baby daughter was born.  As events sometimes go, I am now a stay-at-home dad (and no, I have not seen "Mr. Mom").  This prompted me to start a new element of this blog  (hence the acronym in the title).  I toyed with the idea of starting a new blog for the parenting stuff, but figured to stick with this one (although that may change in the future).

I had heard it said that parents learn as much from their children as their children learn from them.  A thought I did not fully understand until I had one of my own.  Here are a few of the lessons I have learned so far.

Realize Your Helplessness

In the Bible, God refers to Himself as our Father.  This name is not so much a means of depicting His gender, but more as a means of clarifying roles.  God takes care of us, and we get taken care of by Him. The main lesson I learned in this area is our utter helplessness without God.  My daughter is completely helpless, she cannot clothe herself, bathe herself, or feed herself.  She even occasionally has difficulty passing gas.  Such is the state of humanity without God's care.  We often deceive ourselves with delusions of self-sufficiency. We would have a much better life if we would let go of this delusion and let God be in control of our lives

Correct Communication is Crucial

Like many infants, my daughter has a very limited vocabulary, which makes understanding what she wants/needs quite challenging.  When she starts crying I often find myself playing a somewhat stressful guessing game.  If only she could tell me right away her need then everyone would be happier.  However, this is not possible given her limited skill set.  In the same way, we have to be understanding of other people if they don't communicate exactly the way we would like them to communicate.  Many people (both male and female) simply lack proper communication skills.  We need to be patient and do our best to understand what they are attempting to tell us.

Don't be Counterproductive

This one goes right along with the previous item because many times since I do not know what my daughter wants, she does not get fed exactly on her preferred time table.  Many times when this happens she will often gain such momentum with her crying that even though the food is there for the taking, she would rather cry than take it, which, of course, makes her more hungry which makes her more angry.  Too often I have to get her to calm down so that she can eat the food she so desperately wants.  How many times do we get so involved in our complaining that we waste valuable time and energy that could have been used to actually accomplish our goals?

So that's it for now.  I'm sure there will be more lessons in the future, so stay tuned.  In the mean time, what lessons have you learned from your (or other people's) children?

Stealth Christianity

Courtesy en.wikipedia.org

To some the very thought of an unseen Christian would cause extreme negative emotions.  If you feel that way, calm down, and read the benefits of such a believer.

Interest Leads to Questions

I have been fascinated with flight since I was young.  My second-grade science project was on how the design of airplanes' wings (called "airfoil") caused them to fly.  Naturally, such an interest only intensified at the thought of jet aircraft, especially those of the military variety.

Due to this interest, I recently watched part of a video touting the prowess of the F-22 Raptor (pictured above).  One of the main advantages of this aircraft comes from its stealth capabilities.  In short, stealth technology enables the pilot to detect the enemy's aircraft without the enemy detecting theirs.  After watching the video, a thought started rolling around in my head, "Is the thought of a 'stealth Christian' an oxymoron?"

An Incomplete Picture

As mentioned earlier, the very thought of a Christian who would purposely avoid detection would cause some people to get very upset.  They would probably quote Bible verses such as Matthew 5:14-15 about being a light and not hiding lamps under baskets, and Romans 1:16 about not being ashamed of the of the gospel.  However, such a view is incorrect because it is based off an incomplete picture of the purpose for being unseen.  Let me explain.

Unseen with a Purpose

People that hold the view that a stealth Christian avoids detection as a result of being afraid neglect Jesus' example.  Many times during His ministry Jesus told people to keep a secret.  One example can be found in Luke 5:13-14 where Jesus heals a man then instructs him not to tell anyone what had happened.  Jesus' reason for secrecy can be found in verse 15.  He didn't want people to crowd Him for physical healing, when they should be coming for spiritual healing as well, as found in the following account of Jesus and the paralyzed man.  Then the question remains how can we use this principle?

The Use of Stealth

The F-22 uses its stealth capabilities to take lives.  They're meant to get past the enemies defenses and killing them.  Stealth Christianity involves getting past a person's defenses and saving them through God's grace.  Stealth Christianity isn't about going around proclaiming your identity, it's about showing it through your life.  By living it people will often come to you.  However, it's not the only approach we can use.

Balanced Approach

Stealth Christianity involves getting entrance into people's lives, a "tip of the spear" to put one way.  Sometimes we need to be open about what we believe, and we must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit telling us when those times arise.  It all comes down to balance, and that only comes from God.


Can you think of other benefits of stealth Christianity?  Let us know in the comments section.

Taking the Hard Road

Courtesy jerichoschools.org

Many times we equate difficulty with value.  The more effort we put into accomplishing a task, the more value we give to it.  However, that value system doesn't always apply to our spiritual life.

I recently have been experimenting with a different version of the Bible.  I decided to try a more easy-reading version than the one I have currently been using.  As I read the newer version, I found myself thinking that something must be wrong because of how easy it was to read it.  That got me thinking.  Can believing that harder is better take us down the wrong path regarding our spirituality?

Struggle a Part of Life

The Bible often speaks about struggles.  When Adam and Eve made their dreadful choice to eat the forbidden fruit, God said that their (and therefore our) lives were going to be filled with pain and struggles.  Later in history, God commended the patriarch Jacob for struggling with Him, and finally the writer of the book of Hebrews scolded the believers for not struggling enough.  It appears that struggle is simply a part of life, but what happens when we misapply this call to struggle?

Sisyphean Spirituality

Sisyphus, a character found in Greek and Roman mythology, committed a crime.  His punishment  was to roll a large boulder up a hill, watch it roll back down the hill, then roll it back up again, for eternity.  A "sisyphean" task therefore is one that goes on and on and accomplishes nothing.  Many believers throughout history have been practicing a sisyphean spirituality.  They try and try to be a better person, yet they don't get anywhere.  What is the solution to such a fruitless endeavor?

The Grace Solution

The words of a song sung by Larnelle Harris entitled "Were It Not for Grace" puts it well.

Were it not for grace
I can tell you where I'd be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me
I know how that would go
The battles I would face
Forever running but losing this race
Were it not for grace

So if you find yourself "forever running but losing the race", take the time to learn more about God's grace.  More importantly, take the time to experience it for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

What has experiencing grace done for you?  Share your story in the comment section.

The Secret Weapon

One can find many life lessons in the natural world.  A video I recently watched highlights one of these lessons.

I recently subscribed to the DiveFilm HD video podcast which has a collection of short ocean-related videos.  While all the ones I have seen so far have been good, "The Secret Weapon" video definitely falls into the category of educational litter.  See for yourself.  (If you want the HD version, go here.)



How can we use the lesson taught in this video?

Featured Post: What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My WIfe

This featured post comes from Intentional Leadership, a blog written by Michael Hyatt, Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers.  His goal is to "help people live and lead on purpose".

What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My Wife

Gail and I have been married for thirty-three years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few days ago we had a fight. It was a doozy.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/mediaphotos

It’s not important what it was about. It was one of those issues we have stumbled over previously. But I will admit that it was my fault. I ambushed her and let it escalate beyond what the circumstances warranted.

Thankfully, it ended well. Primarily, because Gail was patient, refusing to react to my rant. This was enough to end what Emerson Eggerichs calls, “the crazy cycle.” (If you haven’t read his book, Love and Respect, you must do so. It’s the most practical book on marriage I’ve read.)

Weary—and feeling a little foolish—we asked one another’s forgiveness and restored the relationship.

As I was reflecting on that experience today, I thought to myself, How can we avoid slipping into this same conflict in the future. I wrote down five lessons I want to remember for the future.

1. Clarify our expectations up front. Most conflicts are born out of a misalignment of expectations. In this particular argument, I had a set of unexpressed expectations that Gail failed to meet. If we had discussed them before the day began, we would have likely avoided the problem altogether. But, she didn’t know, because I hadn’t bothered to articulate them.
2. Assume the best about each other. This is especially difficult in the heat of the moment. It is easy to impute motives. But, realistically, your spouse does not get up in the morning intending to make your life miserable. You have to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he or she is well-intentioned.
3. Affirm the priority of the relationship. The most important asset you have as a couple is the health of your relationship. You don’t want to win the battle but lose the war. Near the end of our argument, I finally came to my senses. I said, “Honestly, I don’t know who is right or who is wrong. What I know for sure is that I love you and that trumps everything.” She quickly agreed.
4. De-personalize the problem. When you square off against one another and make it personal, it gets ugly. If you are not careful, you end up cornering your spouse and leaving them no other option than to react or retaliate. Instead, you have to move to their side of the table, and work on the problem together.
5. Listen more than you talk. When you get angry, it is easy to rant—to give expression to your emotion. This is almost never a good idea. Instead, if you want to be understood, you must seek to understand. (Thank you, Dr. Covey.) This means trying to see the other person’s point-of-view. Ask a question, and then ask a follow-up question.

What does this have to do with leadership? Everything. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. And if you can’t learn to manage conflict with those closest to you, how can you manage it with those who have less of a stake in the outcome?

Question: What have you learned from conflict in your own marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Problem Solved

Image: nuttakit / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Despite the enjoyment problem solving brings, we need to remember that we never solve problems completely on our own.

I recently solved a software-related problem with my laptop.  Naturally, I felt good about getting the problem out of the way, especially considering I put a decent amount of time and effort into finding and implementing a solution.  With this success came the temptation to think that I had solved the problem on my own without any outside assistance.

My line of thinking soon changed when I realized that although I did not actively ask for help, my solution came from knowledge I had received from someone else.  Someone who posted a solution on a website.  Someone who had more knowledge about the situation than I did.

Even if I had not consulted a source other than myself, Someone did help me solve that problem.  As it is written,

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:16-17

 So next time you're tempted to think too highly of yourself for solving a problem, remember that you didn't solve it on your own, Someone was there helping whether you realized it or not.

The Divine Shepherd

In this chaotic, and often violent, world it's good to know that there is Someone to take care of us.  That is, if we let Him.

As I had mentioned previously, I am reading through the book The Desire of Ages.  The chapter I most recently read is entitled "The Divine Shepherd".  The concept of Jesus being a shepherd is perhaps one of the most common ways in which Jesus is portrayed.  If you go into practically any church or cathedral that has stained glass windows there will be some reference to this concept.  Why is it so popular?  Out of all the word pictures found in the Scriptures, why does this one resonate with people as much as it does?  I would venture to say that it is because of this fact.  We all want Someone to take care of us.

Sure there are many who with much bravado will say that they don't need anybody, that they can take care of themselves.  I will be bold enough to say that those people are simply fooling themselves.  We are in constant need of care, and that is why Jesus referred to us as sheep. Now as I mentioned some months ago, being a sheep is not a popular analogy for many people.  This is mainly due to this false sense of independence that was just as prevalent back then as it is today.  Someone once told me that the parables were often meant to offend people in one way or another.  To a self-made man or woman, this concept would be quite offensive.  We have to be humble and realize our need.

In closing, remember this,

"Because we are the gift of His Father, and the reward of His work, Jesus loves us. He loves us as His children. Reader, He loves you. Heaven itself can bestow nothing greater, nothing better. Therefore trust." -- The Desire of Ages pg. 483

Comments on Complaining

The subject of complaining is less black and white than I originally thought.

A little more than I month ago I set out to write a blog post on the subject of complaining.  I was going to entitle it "Stop Complaining!" and it was going to talk about the evils of complaining, that we shouldn't do it, and how doing it is a sign of an unconverted heart.  More recently I have come to have a somewhat different view of the subject.  I had been thinking a lot about religious liberty thanks in part to an excellent program on the subject from PBS entitled "God in America".  I saw that how throughout the history of the United States that the existence of religious liberty is in a large part due to quite a bit of complaining.  In fact, most, if not all of the rights citizens and visitors enjoy exist because of complaining.  Here are a few examples.

If nobody had complained . . .

• We would all be a member of one state church.
• We would still have slavery.
• Women would not be able to vote.
• School, buses, etc. would still be segregated.

And most importantly . . .

• We would still be part of the British Empire.

This is by no means an exhaustive commentary about complaining, but if you have the same views that I used to have, I hope this helps you start thinking about things in a different way.