The Secret Weapon

One can find many life lessons in the natural world.  A video I recently watched highlights one of these lessons.

I recently subscribed to the DiveFilm HD video podcast which has a collection of short ocean-related videos.  While all the ones I have seen so far have been good, "The Secret Weapon" video definitely falls into the category of educational litter.  See for yourself.  (If you want the HD version, go here.)



How can we use the lesson taught in this video?

Who Cares?

Image: kairsjoy/photobucket

Few people will ever care as much about our projects as we do, but that's a good thing.

One important fact remains regarding whatever activities we do, whatever projects we work on, whatever dreams we have.  Few people will be as excited, as involved, as we are.  Why should they?  They did not come up with the idea, they didn't make the plans, they didn't put the blood, sweat, and tears into it like we did.  However, that should not discourage us from striving toward our goals. 

In fact, that should make us want to push even more. The lack of caring most likely means that we are on to something. That lack of caring may be God's way of telling us what direction we should go.  Our product, service, or work of art could fill a need and/or inspire people in ways that haven't been done before.

Don't let the masses tell you what you should or should not do.  Go forward into uncharted territory, into the great unknown.  As the words to a song go,

To hear with my heart,
To see with my soul,
To be guided by a hand I cannot hold,
To trust in a way that I cannot see,
That's what faith must be.

Have you ever stepped out in faith and been greatly rewarded?  Tell us your story.

Featured Post: What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My WIfe

This featured post comes from Intentional Leadership, a blog written by Michael Hyatt, Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers.  His goal is to "help people live and lead on purpose".

What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My Wife

Gail and I have been married for thirty-three years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few days ago we had a fight. It was a doozy.

Photo courtesy of ©iStockphoto.com/mediaphotos

It’s not important what it was about. It was one of those issues we have stumbled over previously. But I will admit that it was my fault. I ambushed her and let it escalate beyond what the circumstances warranted.

Thankfully, it ended well. Primarily, because Gail was patient, refusing to react to my rant. This was enough to end what Emerson Eggerichs calls, “the crazy cycle.” (If you haven’t read his book, Love and Respect, you must do so. It’s the most practical book on marriage I’ve read.)

Weary—and feeling a little foolish—we asked one another’s forgiveness and restored the relationship.

As I was reflecting on that experience today, I thought to myself, How can we avoid slipping into this same conflict in the future. I wrote down five lessons I want to remember for the future.

1. Clarify our expectations up front. Most conflicts are born out of a misalignment of expectations. In this particular argument, I had a set of unexpressed expectations that Gail failed to meet. If we had discussed them before the day began, we would have likely avoided the problem altogether. But, she didn’t know, because I hadn’t bothered to articulate them.
2. Assume the best about each other. This is especially difficult in the heat of the moment. It is easy to impute motives. But, realistically, your spouse does not get up in the morning intending to make your life miserable. You have to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he or she is well-intentioned.
3. Affirm the priority of the relationship. The most important asset you have as a couple is the health of your relationship. You don’t want to win the battle but lose the war. Near the end of our argument, I finally came to my senses. I said, “Honestly, I don’t know who is right or who is wrong. What I know for sure is that I love you and that trumps everything.” She quickly agreed.
4. De-personalize the problem. When you square off against one another and make it personal, it gets ugly. If you are not careful, you end up cornering your spouse and leaving them no other option than to react or retaliate. Instead, you have to move to their side of the table, and work on the problem together.
5. Listen more than you talk. When you get angry, it is easy to rant—to give expression to your emotion. This is almost never a good idea. Instead, if you want to be understood, you must seek to understand. (Thank you, Dr. Covey.) This means trying to see the other person’s point-of-view. Ask a question, and then ask a follow-up question.

What does this have to do with leadership? Everything. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. And if you can’t learn to manage conflict with those closest to you, how can you manage it with those who have less of a stake in the outcome?

Question: What have you learned from conflict in your own marriage? You can leave a comment by clicking here.